Love: fear management

Love: fear management

The Secret to Intimacy, so interesting hear that love is also about fear management

Love, sex and attachment a fascinating On Being podcast with Helen Fisher

The { } And‘ an interactive documentary that shows what happens when couples are completly honest with each other.

Joy & gratitude

Joy & gratitude

 

So much wisdom on gratitude from David Steindl Rast in this On Being Podcast. I loved his description of happiness as something that passes and is based on circumstances whereas joy can be long term, is a choice we make and is not based on what is happening.

He explains gratitude as being present, seeing opportunity & availing yourself of it. 

“Stop, behold and go. Stop, ask what is the opportunity of this given moment (that’s the beholding), when you see it, then go. Being grateful isn’t necessarily about what you’ve been given. In every moment you can be grateful, there could be the opportunity to learn, to protest….”

He explains that anxiety is fine, but fear paralyses us. If we trust in life we’ll come through that situation having given birth to something great. 

Prayer is waterever lifts your spirit.

The genuis of the collective

The genuis of the collective

“Scenius stands for the intelligence and the intuition of a whole cultural scene. It is the communal form of the concept of the genius.”

“I was an art student and, like all art students, I was encouraged to believe that there were a few great figures like Picasso and Kandinsky, Rembrandt and Giotto and so on who sort-of appeared out of nowhere and produced artistic revolution.

As I looked at art more and more, I discovered that that wasn’t really a true picture.

What really happened was that there was sometimes very fertile scenes involving lots and lots of people – some of them artists, some of them collectors, some of them curators, thinkers, theorists, people who were fashionable and knew what the hip things were – all sorts of people who created a kind of ecology of talent. And out of that ecology arose some wonderful work.

he period that I was particularly interested in, ’round about the Russian revolution, shows this extremely well. So I thought that originally those few individuals who’d survived in history – in the sort-of “Great Man” theory of history – they were called “geniuses”. But what I thought was interesting was the fact that they all came out of a scene that was very fertile and very intelligent.

So I came up with this word “scenius” – and scenius is the intelligence of a whole… operation or group of people. And I think that’s a more useful way to think about culture, actually. I think that – let’s forget the idea of “genius” for a little while, let’s think about the whole ecology of ideas that give rise to good new thoughts and good new work.”

Brian Eno

A neuroscience researcher reveals 4 rituals that will make you happier

A neuroscience researcher reveals 4 rituals that will make you happier

Great Business Insider article on rituals that will make you a happier person. They are incredibly simple and quite effective.

  • Ask “What am I grateful for?” No answers? Doesn’t matter. Just searching helps.
  • Label those negative emotions. Give it a name and your brain isn’t so bothered by it.
  • Decide. Go for “good enough” instead of ‘best decision ever made on Earth.”
  • Hugs, hugs, hugs. Don’t text — touch.
Core message, starting out and celebrating successes

Core message, starting out and celebrating successes

“Nasty Gal grew out of a conversation. It was me literally talking to my customers with my voice. I built a brand out of it and that voice is consistent today,” Sophia Amoruso, Nasty Gal

“We want cities to feel like villages again” Brian Chesky, AirBnb

“If you tell them it’s going to be this crazy adventure and we’re gonna do great things a certain kind of person selects into that. I try to set a vision for the company that’s incredibly ambitious then articulate a path that everyone can take part in figuring out.” Ben Silbermann, Pinterest

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I have this image of myself as the fun friend…

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“I have this image of myself as the fun friend who is easy going, always good for a laugh, and always ready to listen to your problems. But I don’t share my own problems because I’m afraid that my friendship will seem less valuable if I do. I’m afraid that if I’m sad, I’ll seem boring. I don’t want people to start thinking: ‘This isn’t fun anymore.’ Or ‘This isn’t what I signed up for.’ So I tend to shut myself off. I’ll tell you all about my interests and activities. But when it comes to how I’m doing, I don’t like to move beyond ‘I’m fine.’ So I have all sorts of tricks to keep the conversation focused on the other person. I’m a great listener. And I love details: ‘Me? I’m great! But what about you? I seem to remember that you were going to dinner with your sister-in-law last night, right? At the Italian restaurant? Was the linguine better this time? Less crispy?’”

Via Humans of New York